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" Candy, I heard you say he's still a virgin, but give me the bottom line, did you have ANY kind of sex with Greg?"Candice rolled her eyes. "No. Believe me, I wanted to. I mean sure, I got him to kiss me, and let me tell you, he is a natural, Elli. Oh. My. God. But I couldn't get him to go much further than that. I mean, he wanted to, Elli. I could tell he was hard as a rock, and his heart was pounding. But the only time my hand got to home plate, he gently pushed it aside. So, we. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”FaithA Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing. ”“Only you could be so cold,” she pouted.“Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on, or not? If you're my subconscious, then you should know I am becoming aggravated.”“That, my love, is for you to figure out. Hallucinations are the brain's way of trying to solve problems, and as you can see, this is one serious hallucination.”“I thought you said I was dreaming.”“I never said that. I said you’ve never dreamed this deeply before.”“So this is a hallucination?”“You figure it out.”“Well of. I went back to the bedroom and Susie then said that she had a few 'finishing touches' pulling out her makeup bag.She began by attaching artificial fingernails to my nails, lengthening them by at least an inch."This is just to help remind you that you're a girl!", she said."How can I forget?", I asked, as the weights lurched again and the 'baby' kicked me.By the time she had finished I had ten long nails, painted a delicate pink."I'm sure you don't lengthen the nails on your thumbs.", I.
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